Monday, August 10, 2015

Parent S.W.A.T. team

So, I love my job. I work for a non profit called Family Voices. We are national, but I work for the ND "branch". We are experts in services, waivers, laws, and all things related to having a child with a special health care need. The one thing I can't and won't do, is tell you what you should do. It isn't for me to decide. I will give you options, I will share resources, explain the boring jargon that you don't have time to pick through. I see you, your situation, and unlike others, I DO understand, and I do want to help. Your stories make me cry, I go to bed thinking about how I can help you and your family. I won't stop until our children are on an equal level with all other children.
So on my summer Tuesdays, I invite you and your family to join me. In my own home. I get snacks, I pull out toys, I vacuum, I turn knife blocks around, move candle holders, secure locks....but as prepared as I am...nothing could have prepared me for this week.....

Autism has a wandering rate of 80%. The number one cause of death in children with autism is drowning. I live approximately 9 minutes from water. I have a map of my neighborhood...and on this Tuesday, with NINE....9....adults in my house...a little boy, with black shorts, and no shirt on...found a way out...

We count, every few minutes. The number of children, where they are, what they are doing. There are staff, dads, moms..siblings...the words.."I can't find him" strikes a nerve in every one of us. We fan out...we have a plan. Two cars, 6 moms and a dad....we go every direction. We comb every yard. After 3 minutes, I have two moms with their thumbs on 9...1...1..After 5 minutes I see a dad carrying a little boy, black shorts and no shirt...walking down the sidewalk to my house...I see his mom on her knees in my yard. She can't stand, she can't breathe..her emotion spills over. We all feel it with her. She embraces her child and I know what she is feeling. We have been there.

We aren't bad parents, we aren't "not watching", we are more protective, more watchful than you can ever imagine. Our other children sense our panic when we say "Where's your brother/sister?", and they go into full search mode with us. Please don't think we don't have nightmares, take extra steps, talk to our neighborhood groups. No S.W.A.T team, or police force could have found this child faster than we did. We are a club all our own, and we hold each other up, we will never stop trying to educate our families, our neighbors,  our friends.  Thank you for being there, for watching, for taking the extra step.
That little boy, missing for a mere few minutes was standing, looking into a patio door, and my neighbors opened that door and tried to figure out why he wouldn't answer "What's your name?". "Where's your mom?"..but the guardian angels they were, they waited, and watched until they saw one of our hero dads come running by...Our entire parent community thanks people like my neighbors. We cannot say what it means when you notice that one detail that could save a life.....

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