Thursday, November 10, 2011
Today I was taking pictures of my bare feet in the California sun and green grass, enjoying the sunshine and the feeling of cool mornings and concrete running from my room to the kitchen that smells like fresh coffee every dawn. I was so fearful of coming here, I just knew we would be the outcasts. Chandler would meltdown and everyone would stare. LOL. Well, they did stare, but only to tell me how cute he was, how much they enjoyed him. I can hear Jim's voice saying how musical he is, and see the picture of him sitting with Joy and Calhoun by the fireplace, and watching him peek over the couch to watch Pam and Nacho play, or coming over with a soft "hi" to all of us sitting at the breakfast table. My new family. Thinking about leaving them is heartbreaking. How do you get this close to people in two weeks? Study night with chocolate and wine, and Janet pulling out flashcards! LOL. I am so torn between being excited to see my little boys at home and get back to life as I know it, but this has already changed our lives. Not just Chandler's. Mine. I can't create the kind of picture in your minds that I want you to see if you're reading this. These families are amazing. How am I going to wake up to my house for coffee and look out the window at the snow, and not think about Patrick telling me the latest celebrity news and his favorite Will Ferrell movie, or sharing pizza with Kim and Dana. Laughing with Pamala over the Baby Einstein apps we "love" so much on the ipad, and signing about camping with sweet little Ryan while his grandmum makes tea. How can I get the picture of Andrew and Chandler running across the great room together out of my head? Luke sprawled on the couch talking to caretaker Tim about local sights. They say this is an emotional experience you won't forget, but you assume its all about the dog. And it is, but it's so much more.