I love music. It's in my soul, I wake to it, I fall asleep to it, I live by it. It is a huge part of my life. Lyrics, and melody, and the way it consumes your emotions, your being. It changes a mood, it brings back a memory, it creates an element of anything that you wish. Anytime I am reflecting on anything, I find myself flipping through my ipod, looking for the feeling that I want to create. Sometimes I let the song choose me, and shuffle it is. Today I was looking. Changing my mind from one to the next. Chandler climbed up next to me on the bed and held out his hand. We locked eyes and he smiled. I handed over the iphone, and he was scrolling through, looking at me for help, and he said "Fun." It took a minute to register that he meant the band. He loves the band Fun. So I found the album and we play (to his delight) a couple of songs. Then I tried an experiment.
I helped him pull up various songs and waited for his reaction. Different songs did different things. Recognition, delight, annoyance. I found out that he really likes Bruno Mars, Yaz (old one hit wonder from the 80s!), the Lumineers. Ah...eclectic taste like his mom. He does not like Rascal Flatts. And the Ting Tings made him recoil in horror. We both listened to the new song from Pink, for some reason the mix of those voices ( Pink with Nate Ruess from Fun) gave us both goosebumps. The smile of delight when they harmonize happened at the same second for both of us. What a beautiful thirty minutes of connection and understanding, and mutual happiness. I was in his world because this is a language we both understand. He probably didn't get the tears in my eyes, but I was lucky enough to stumble upon another way in. I will figure out a way on his ipad to make this functional, for him to be able to choose what he wants by looking at album covers. Any way for me to know my son feels like I shattered another window of autism. This one was a huge picture window.
"So let's set the world on fire. We can burn brighter than the sun...." FUN